Why Carnegie Mellon? Perseverant, intelligent, and a problem solver. I would use these three words to describe myself and to say why I believe Carnegie Mellon University is the school where I would find the most success. Carnegie Mellon has a rigorous academic environment and will allow me to reap the rewards of an educ Karate Extracurricular Essay - "Little Ninjas" Every weekend after my karate class, I volunteer for an hour and a half teaching kids ages The first class is the "Little Ninjas," who are just years old.
These are among my favorites to teach because they have no preconceptions or attitude. They look at you unjudgmentally and li Defeating the Devil Inside Often, people look back on their failures and obsess over how they could have prevented their mistakes. They ask themselves, "What could I have done differently? Focusing on unforeseen outcomes hinders our ability to pick ourselves up and move forward Alcohol's Daughter It is the summer before Kindergarten.
Face ashen, she stumbles toward me, the heavy footfalls syncing with my throbbing heart. Clarity is more important than ornate language. Finally, the quote in the last paragraph feels unnecessary.
Despite these minor weaknesses, Janice does an excellent job of writing an essay that demonstrates her insight, personal growth, and unique voice.
Disclaimer: With exception of the removal of identifying details, essays are reproduced as originally submitted in applications; any errors in submissions are maintained to preserve the integrity of the piece. Your college application essay gives you a chance to show admission officers who you really are beyond grades and test scores.
An outstanding personal statement will not win you a scholarship, but a poorly prepared one. Many international students struggle with writing a personal statement.
By Alexis Reliford When you apply to college, in addition to your grades and your. Here you will find links to various online guidelines as well as tips on how to write a winning personal insight essay. Sample Essays.
On a different, more personal level that you have been trained to in college. Culture relationship essay conclusion liu post admissions essay personal statement beschreibender essay beispiel.
As a transfer student, the essay is an important part of your admission application f th U i it. I want you to imagine a college admissions. Write the essay the college is requesting. I sought to make design collaborative, not limited to the ideas of one person. Most of all, I sought to solve problems that impact the real world. Inspired by the water crisis in India, I developed a water purification system that combines carbon nanotube filters with shock electrodialysis to both desalinate and purify water more efficiently and cost-effectively than conventional plants.
The project received 1st Honors at the Georgia Science Fair. Working on these two projects, I saw the raw power of engineering — an abstract idea gradually becoming reality. I was spending most of my days understanding the why behind things, while also discovering solutions to prevalent issues. Thirteen years have passed since that maiden flight, and I have yet to crack physical human flight.
My five-year-old self would have seen this as a colossal failure. But the intense curiosity that I found in myself that day is still with me. It has continued to push me, forcing me to challenge myself to tackle ever more complex problems, engrossed by the promise and applicability of engineering.
I may never achieve human flight. However, now I see what once seemed like a crash landing as a runway, the platform off of which my love of engineering first took flight. We paused and listened, confused by sounds we had only ever heard on the news or in movies. My mother rushed out of the house and ordered us inside.
The Arab Spring had come to Bahrain. I learned to be alert to the rancid smell of tear gas. Its stench would waft through the air before it invaded my eyes, urging me inside before they started to sting.
Newspaper front pages constantly showed images of bloodied clashes, made worse by Molotov cocktails. Martial Law was implemented; roaming tanks became a common sight. Bahrain, known for its palm trees and pearls, was waking up from a slumber. The only home I had known was now a place where I learned to fear. September — Two and a half years after the uprisings, the events were still not a distant memory. I decided the answer to fear was understanding.
I began to analyze the events and actions that led to the upheaval of the Arab Springs. In my country, religious and political tensions were brought to light as Shias, who felt underrepresented and neglected within the government, challenged the Sunnis, who were thought to be favored for positions of power.
I wanted equality and social justice; I did not want the violence to escalate any further and for my country to descend into the nightmare that is Libya and Syria. September — Pursuing understanding helped allay my fears, but I also wanted to contribute to Bahrain in a positive way.
I participated in student government as a student representative and later as President, became a member of Model United Nations MUN , and was elected President of the Heritage Club, a charity-focused club supporting refugees and the poor. As an MUN delegate, I saw global problems from perspectives other than my own and used my insight to push for compromise. I debated human rights violations in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict from an Israeli perspective, argued whether Syrian refugees should be allowed entry into neighboring European countries, and then created resolutions for each problem.
In the Heritage Club, I raised funds and ran food drives so that my team could provide support for less fortunate Bahrainis. We regularly distributed boxed lunches to migrant workers, bags of rice to refugees and air conditioners to the poor. Both Shia and Sunni candidates are selected, helping to diversify the future leadership of my country. I was shortlisted to attend the training during that summer. But as I learned to apply different types of leadership styles to real-life situations and honed my communication skills to lead my team, I began to see what my country was missing: harmony based on trust.
Bringing people together from different backgrounds and successfully completing goals—any goal—builds trust. And trust is the first step to lasting peace. October — I have only begun to understand my people and my history, but I no longer live in fear. Instead, I have found purpose. I plan to study political science and economics to find answers for the issues that remain unresolved in my country. Bahrain can be known for something more than pearl diving, palm trees, and the Arab Spring; it can be known for the understanding of its people, including me.
I mean this in the most literal sense possible. I have been pooped on by pigeons and possums, house finches and hawks, egrets and eastern grays. Actually, that I do mind a little. In Berkeley, I learned the value of originality: Those who celebrate their individuality are not only unique but strong.
It takes great strength to defy the definitions of others, and because of that strength, those who create their own paths discover a different world than those who travel the same worn road.
I returned to New Haven a changed person. My appearance was certainly different — red streaks in my hair and a newfound fondness for tutus certainly made me stand out. If one of the purposes of a college essay is to make yourself come to life off the page, then this essay hits the mark. Far from seeming unfinished or unedited, the somewhat stream-of-consciousness style establishes a humorous and self-deprecating tone that makes the reader instantly like the applicant. The sweet smell of cinnamon resonated through the house.
A wave of heat washed over my face as I opened the oven door to reveal my first batch of snickerdoodles. Small domes of sugary cookies shyly peeked from the edge of the door. I smiled as I thought about the joy these cookies would bring to my friends. They like to compare me to the witch in Hansel and Gretel, joking that I fatten children up and then forget to eat them.
There is something about the warmth of a kitchen filled with the buttery smell of pastry that evokes a feeling of utter relaxation. I find joy in sharing this warm and homey experience by showering the people around me with sweets.
Interestingly, after studying foreign languages, I was further intrigued by my native tongue. Bowing down to the porcelain god, I emptied the contents of my stomach. While the essay overall reads smoothly, it could benefit from the simplification of some phrases and sentences.
As undocumented immigrants and with little to no family around us, we had to rely on each other. Working on these two projects, I saw the raw power of engineering — an abstract idea gradually becoming reality. A thought, which is in so many ways intangible, is absolutely tangible on paper.